Thanksgiving

  This time of year is a battle it seems. The day after Halloween the commercials start for Christmas. I always feel that we don't give Thanksgiving it's due credit.  Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas and I get just as excited as my kids at times but Thanksgiving is the "gateway" to the holiday season and should be appreciated as such.
  When I was younger I associated Thanksgiving with my nana's house.  We moved away from my grandparents and my aunt and uncle and cousin when I was around nine years old so any chance we got to visit, we took it.  My nana and grandpa lived in a small South Texas town who's claim to fame was hunting so my dad would get ready for Thanksgiving (hunting) with gusto! The men of the family knew there would be a hunting day wasted when they would agree to take us along, you know everything is funny when you aren't supposed to laugh. They never complained though so we always had fun.
  When you would wake up on Thanksgiving morning at Nana's you woke up to the smell of turkey.  I loved that feeling, waking up to the beautiful chaos of a small kitchen with too many people in it trying to orchestrate one huge meal.  No one complained, no one said they wished they had more space, I think the closeness was one of the things we looked forward to.
  Fast forward several years and here I am, Nana is no longer here but we will be having Thanksgiving with family and the kids will get under foot and will run through the kitchen taking pieces of cut up turkey or a roll when they pass and it will be good. It will be hot and crowded in the kitchen but I don't care, that's part of it.  I love the holiday season because of how it was for me as a kid and how I consciously want it to be for mine.  How will your Thanksgiving go? Who will be there and what is the side dish you most look forward to eating?  What is your favorite thing to do after Thanksgiving?
  From my house to yours, Happy Thanksgiving!

Disconnecting ... sort of.

   Recently I have been facilitating a Bible study for some lovely ladies at our church.  We call our study time "G.R.O.W." G (greet the Lord) R (read the scripture assigned) O (observe what the scripture is teaching) W (write down the scripture and a prayer to go with it).  I love getting together with my fellow sisters and just talk about life.  Usually that fills the hour we have reserved and sometimes it goes over.
  This last week I read a blog post from a neat blog called, www.wearethatfamily.com titled, "Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World".  Okay, I was convicted! After reading the blog post I realized that I can't show my kids how to be grateful if I am constantly comparing myself to other moms and dads.  I realize now that I struggle with that more than I thought and mainly facebook was the culprit. I would be having a perfectly fine day and BAM! I would see someone's post on facebook about this wonderful adventure they got to have and how they were dressed perfectly for the occasion.  I know, that makes me sound shallow and that I should be happy for them and wish them all the best but sometimes UUUUURRRRGGHHH!!
  In the past I have tried to use social media for good, I usually share a conviction, a prayer request or a special blessing with my "friends".   I also really like that I know what's going on in my friends' lives that live far away but what bothers me the most is the fact that it's a time thief and even a joy thief.  I love to write and share and encourage but Satan likes to throw things in my face and remind me that I have weaknesses and that I find myself not measuring up to some mythical perfect person.
   So, this imperfect person is going to do something radical! I'm leaving facebook, yep, you read it right.  I am a daughter of a Perfect King and  this is the way His love goes babe. The Lord has reminded me that He has blessed me with a happy, healthy family and I need to treat them like a blessing by giving them my attention (especially if I want theirs) and my time.  I will continue to blog so you can always come and visit me here and please feel free to leave comments. My tech-y sister is coming over tomorrow to show me how I can link up to Pinterest with this blog so many of you can keep in contact with me that way.  Also, you can contact me via email at www.jessica.rutledge2013@gmail.com.  I know I will be tempted and want to "hop" back on so I will need your prayers for that please.
   This is my conviction so please don't think you should have the same one. If you stay on social  media, just do this for me and for yourself, look up every once in a while and see what the people around you are doing.  Try to make new friends and not just "friend" someone.  Have a great day with your family and do it just to do it and not just to have a photo opp, fill up the photo albums again and not just your phone.  God gave you a body and a bright healthy mind, use it!

Apathy

While I read the headlines and watch news video footage about what is happening to Christians at the hands of ISIS I am reminded of my trip to the Holocaust museum I took last summer with Belle. I was nervous going in because I knew I would see images that would break my heart and I didn't want to fall to complete pieces in front of everyone.  Needless to say the images did break my heart and I wasn't able to hold it together the majority of the time but what stuck with me the most among lots and lots of information was what the museum guide said to the kids before we started our tour.  I will never forget it, she was an elderly lady, probably a young girl (maybe a teenager) during WWII.  She looked at all of us in our eyes and said, "There is a word I want you all to remember when you leave here today and never forget it." We all waited, I wonder if the others were trying to guess what she might say, I was thinking "hate" however that wasn't what she ended up saying.  She looked at us and said, "apathy".
The definition of apathy is "the lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern./ indifference".  It boiled down to that. The museum guide let us watch a video of concentration camp survivors and they all said the same thing. "People saw us get on trains, get thrown out on the street, stripped of everything we owned and people did nothing."  This is crazy to me, or it used to be.  Now I sit and watch the leaders of this nation do the same thing. Oh, of course we started to do a little at a time but I just pray that it isn't a little too late.  The question in my mind is this, I wonder how many people (women, men, children, babies) would have been saved during the holocaust if social media had existed back then? Have Christians been under attack as long as Jews? No, and we are told we will be persecuted and I know that The Lord's promise is true when He revealed it to Paul in Romans 8:35-37, " Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered" - Good news though, it doesn't stop there. Christ doesn't leave us that way, we have hope! "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us."
Do you have that kind of faith? Do you understand that if we as Christians continue to live a life of apathy the same will start to happen here in the United States? In some places this attitude  has already begun.  Stand firm, know what you believe in and why because we will all have to defend our faith one day, for the Christians in the middle east, their time is now.

Tea time!

Mom called me the other day and said she signed us up to decorate a table at her church's tea.  I was happy to do it because usually with teas I am in a position of STRESS instead of relaxation.  Don't get me wrong, I love the hustle and bustle of getting ready for a tea, it's just nice sometimes to be a spectator. She said she wanted it to be a vintage table so I REALLY got excited! She borrowed Nana's dishes she had given to Michelle for our "china".

They are the sweetest color, it's neat to think these dishes were a wedding gift for my Nana and Grandpa.  I like that they didn't match, it's kind of a neat window into the tastes of my Nana way back then.

Of course we had to have a picture of the lovely couple on their wedding day and an old camera that has taken so many pictures, catching evidence of a happy life on film. Mason jars from years gone by, some have stories behind them, some just reminders of the wonderful talent my mom has for making homemade jams, jellies, preserves and pickles. The lovely Kitty cookie jar that sits smiling at me in my kitchen every day, used to sit on the top of my great grandmother's refrigerator. I remember sitting on top of the deep freezer that sat in their kitchen while eating room temperature pancakes, looking at that pretty cookie jar. I'm honored to have her now.

And we can't forget the sweet apron that Nana made for me. I had originally asked her to make three aprons so I could sell them.  She was happy to do it and when I received them in the mail I was so excited. Upon closer inspection I noticed that the stitching used to make the ruffle was done by hand.  All I could think of was her sweet soft hands bent from age and arthritus making each stitch just so.  That did it, there wasn't a price for that so I surprised my sisters one Thanksgiving and gave each of them an apron (one for myself as well). That apron was in the very center of our beautiful tea. Nana and Mamaw (my great grandmother) were right there with us as we enjoyed our tea. If you have "old things" someone has given you, take them out of their hiding places and show them off.  There is a story there, there is a family member your children need to meet through your stories and memories.

"There Is Sunshine In My Soul ..."

This last Saturday was just wonderful. Anthony and I finally put dirt in our garden boxes and a chicken wire trellis ready for some very anticipated snow peas.  I am planting cherry tomatoes, "Big Boy" tomatoes, mixed salad greens, broccoli, cauliflower, bush beans, okra and an assortment of kitchen herbs.  I was so excited finally feeling warm dirt between my fingers and planting my seeds with the zeal I'm sure every gardener feels when they place those tiny "promises" in the ground.  Of course I'm no stranger to the disappointment that comes with gardening, I know I will battle backyard pets, curious children, the weather, the bugs ... uugghh! If I think about it I almost don't want to invest.  Aren't we glad that's not how God works?  Aren't we thankful that not only did He invest but He will meet all the needs we will ever have?  God didn't plant the seed of the Holy Spirit in us just to walk away leaving us unattended.  We will face our own "bugs, our own "backyard pets" and harsh elements.  What a relief to know that the gardener of our soul is ever diligent!
 Sunday I sat in church with a sunburn as a testament of all I did Saturday, what kind of sunburn do you have? What is your testament of what the Holy Spirit is doing in your life? What does your garden look like?

Prayer

I am about to step out on faith in a few days.  I am about to start a bible study (as before mentioned in another post) at my house.  For some people this would have been an easy decision to make but I have to admit, it wasn't for me.  Most of you that know me know that I have been active in our drama department at church, you've seen me act and sing on stage whether it was during a play or in choir.  I even get to do the "welcome" at our church from time to time. I will give all glory to God for all of that because if left up to me, it wouldn't happen.  I was taught by a dear youth pastor, Mr. Jim Carroll that God wanted me to stretch, he wanted to break me and mold me in His image.  Sometimes breaking and molding hurts and is scary but when it's over it's never regretted.
At first I wanted the goal of the bible study to be prayer then Satan started telling me that prayer may be too deep of a topic.  "Don't freak them out with that personal topic, what if they don't want to dive in like you do?  You don't have an awesome prayer life, what kind of encouragement can you give them?" The devil really threw it at me, and I caved, I changed the topic of bible study and I was okay with it but I wasn't excited about it.  Fast forward a week or two and I was sitting in church listening to Pastor Bill, we were finishing up a series on prayer and what he was saying to us as a congregation was eye opening to me.  He was stressing how important prayer was to our church and how important it was in our own individual lives.  I know prayer works, I have seen it with my own eyes.  I left the church that day with such an absolute message that I heard loud and clear, "Don't be safe Jessica, be obedient." So, I will be obedient and I will do my best to listen to Him.  I hope if you are reading this you are moved to come to my home and be a part of this very special time I really feel it has been placed before me "for such a time as this" I believe wonderful things are about to start happening in our church and in our town.  I want to be part of that don't you?
I will leave you with a quote from the book we will be using in our bible study, Stormy Omartian's "The Power Of A Praying Woman", she writes,  "Although it may often feel like it, there is never a time when nothing is happening in your life.  That's because whether you realize it or not, you are never standing still.  You are either going forward or you're sliding back. you are either becoming more like Christ everyday or you're becoming less like Him.  There is no neutral position in the Lord." Please pray for this time, if you can come please come, if you are unable to come please pray for this time.

Things Remembered

My mom and dad came by for breakfast yesterday and during their visit my mom got a phone call.  The call was from the realtor that is taking care of the sale of my grandparent's home.  He told her that a lady we all know that lives in the same town is looking to buy the house for her grandson.  I think Mom may go through with it and I know it will be sad for her but the woman that is wanting to buy it was a good friend of my Nana's.  Years ago after my aunt passed away, this woman would come get my Nana and take her places just to get out of the house, I think she was instrumental in helping Nana decide she still had a life and she needed to live it.
Anyway, as I prepare myself for the sale of this home I think of all the things I loved about it.  I know it doesn't compare to the memories my mom has of the house but they are vivid and wonderful memories to me.  I have lived in a total of seven houses from the time I was born till now.  That house never changed.  It was the island in the midst of change.  I can smell the smell of German sausage cooking on the gas stove and the sound of the television turned up in the living room.  The distinct smell of Nana's home, they say smell is the strongest sense to recall a memory.  She wore Channel No.5, Grandpa smelled like outside, like he had just come home from some adventure at the deer lease.  The sounds around that house are the sounds of dove and cicadas (not sure if I spelled that right).  All of these things were so special and so safe, however, the people that created most of these things aren't there anymore.  They are with ME and that is why I can let the house go.  I can conjure it up anytime I want, I often take a walk around the house in my mind and listen to the outside sounds.  Sometimes my favorite thing to remember is walking through that back door just to be assaulted with the smells and the hugs.  These are just a few things that have helped shape me as a person. My parent's  home is becoming, to my children, what my Nana's house was to me. Here they are met with hugs and good food and adventure.  My dad may be outside sitting on the porch trying to shoot squirrels but my kids want to sit out there with him and hear some fun Texas history fact he has thought to share.  What about you, are you creating an island for your family?

Affirmation

Sometimes as parents we worry that we are messing our kids up.  I sometimes have visions of my children sitting in a counselor's office pouring out their problems that all stem from their unfit mother.  (shiver!) Deep down though, I feel my girls are absolutely exceptional, so much so that I am in awe that God saw fit  for me to be their mother.  Not to mention their awesome dad, I feel I don't deserve him at times.  Thank you Jesus for your many blessings.
I titled this post "Affirmation" because even with all that I mentioned above, there ARE times I get to see through my daughters' eyes.  Maybe, just maybe we (Anthony and I ) are doing something right.  Maybe, just maybe our love for Christ IS spilling over and onto them?  Layla brought her journal to me the other day and wanted me to read her latest entry. I wanted to share it with you just in case some of you that read this blog ever feel insignificant, I really don't think you are and chances are those close to you don't think you are either.

This is also testament that your children will learn from you.  They will learn how to love from you, how to be joyous and how to grieve. But most importantly, they will learn how to have a relationship with Christ from you.  Parenting is not for the faint of heart, it's not easy. Thankfully Jesus says, " my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:30  Let that verse be true in your relationships too whether it is with a spouse or a child.

Making Room Part 2

Here is where it began, Anthony and Trent left early in the morning on Friday and drove to Orange Grove.  They were met with icy temperatures but they would not be swayed.

I was sent this picture from my mom's phone with the caption, "they did it, it's out of the bedroom".  There's my dad probably gearing up for the next phase. I'm not sure if the next phase was lunch because I know mom made the boys homemade hamburgers and french fries.

This was the phase I was glad I wasn't a part of but they did it.  The piano was safely loaded into the trailer along with lots of other stuff.  Well, they came home late because of some really bad traffic and of course when I saw it I cried.  I do that  a lot.  Anyway, it made it and I am so proud of it.  I do wish I had taken it when my Nana offered but of course I was silly and didn't want to take the piano out of the "piano room".  I think she would love how it looks here.  I know I do.

Welcome

Nothing says, "welcome" like a screen door.  I just love them! We installed a screen door leading in to our kitchen last spring, no this is not a picture of MY screen door, I just really liked the look of this one.  A screen door says, "come on in", "you are welcome here."  That seems to be a constant theme in my head lately, how do I relate this message to my friends?  I want to start a bible study at my house that consists of scripture study/ discussion and then a good ol' fashion circle up prayer time.  I see it in my head, I can almost touch it.  I hope and pray that it will become a reality.  I would love to end every month with a dinner for my friends, I'm not the best cook but I can follow a recipe and I love to serve others~ I believe we need to serve others.  Anyway, I see myself serving dinner on the porch to some of the ladies that I pray God is already preparing to be a part of such a sweet precious time.What a wonderful scene from my screen door, a warm evening (no mosquitoes) sweet tea and a lovely meal set before each of my special friends, prayer warriors, sisters in Christ. What says, "welcome" to you? How are you planning on serving others?

Making Room

    This Friday Anthony and my brother-in-law  Trent, are taking a road trip to Orange Grove to bring home a long awaited piece of my childhood, my Nana's piano.  Nana left us almost a year ago, a bittersweet goodbye for us but a beautiful homecoming for her.  Such a beautiful lady, I will have to devote a whole post for just her one day, but today's post is all about this very special item that resided in her house for many years.  My Nana bought this piano for my mom when my mom was in the third grade, Mom wanted to learn to play but the local piano teacher told her her fingers were too short and she would never be able to perfect it. 

     Well, that's when Nana found a teacher all the way in Corpus Christi that would take her daughter in for lessons.  That's a big deal considering the drive was thirty minutes there and back but Nana knew my mom really wanted to play the piano so like any determined mother would, she made it happen.  To make sure mom got the practice in that she needed Nana found a piano that was being sold in San Antonio, she purchased it  and excitedly waited for it's delivery.  She told me that it was all black when she first got it so she stripped it and under the coat of paint she found a beautiful wood grain. Fast forward a few years and Mom became the pianist for First Baptist Church Orange Grove, Tx at the age of fifteen she even met my dad while stopping by the same  grocery store after every piano lesson where he packed up their groceries and probably walked my mom to her car. 

      Many visits to my Nana's house consisted of all of us gathering in the "piano room" to sing old hymns and laugh as we would try to harmonize.  All of us kids have sat at the key board and learned songs like "Jesus Loves Me", and "I Dropped My Dollie In The Dirt" such wonderful memories of when all was right with the world ...  that's what's coming home to my house this weekend. And not to forget any who sat at this nucleus of our family gatherings, I am planning on framing pictures of my family playing this piano so that others get to see just a little of what this piano means to us, to me, it's pretty crazy seeing pictures of me and my children around the same age smiling from the piano.  Come by if you can, to see it yourself, touch the keys, smell it, maybe it will help you remember the objects that don't replace the people by any means but  make you go back to those moments in time. I will post pictures when we get it all set up.

Here we go, ready or not!

Hello blogging world! It's been a while since I shared my little world with everyone outside of facebook.
I hope you enjoy your visit into my life, you may laugh, cry, think or pray feel free to do it all.